Twisted bone. It never heals right.
Like glass it shatters. Like frost it bites.
What is this place I’ve awaken to?
Frozen feelings, shattered trust
Hardened sores that cover rust
Bound emotions in the dark
Opening wounds a freedom sparks.
Pen to paper, where to begin?
Where’d it start and when will it end?
There is a dream that I once had,
the loss of it still drives me mad,
thinking of what could have been
instead there is turmoil deep within
Fixated on dreams of yesteryear
the words I say i do not hear
they bite, bend, crack and twist
the aim was love but the arrow missed
Who I am will never know
why my dream was taken so,
I wonder if I matter to
the ones that I once thought I knew.
I put my head into my hand
and hope one day this dream still can
become alive in my real life
and not just fill my head with strife
I try to stop my mind from chasing
so i tell others of the racing
but when I speak the people scatter
and treat me like I dont matter
Anger bites my tongue in two
and spews onto the people who
with all my life I have spent
because I fear abandonment
The cycle then begins again
and I am left without a friend
words are said that make me mad
because of a dream that I once had
There! I said it! now you know
what’s inside my head so
does it mean that you will care
or treat me how I think is fair?
I had a deep feeling about some things i was dealing with and it came out as the beginning thoughts. I was struggling to figure out what my feelings were because it was nothing I had ever had to deal with before. I then tried to empathise with a person that might be struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder but maybe doesn’t know how to verbalize or recognize what is going on.
I took my feelings and applied them to a person with BPD because the horrible feeling that I was feeling seemed very similar to one they may have to regularly endure.
When a child equates God to a father because that is how it’s discussed and the only comparison to a father they have is a father that abandoned them or was never there, their view of God can be damaged or skewed by that reality and cause hurt.
https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx9nPtlB6A2mR8u3-7eLcF8jH8BhSrLRKK?si=vArMvkOrnFFLMib-